Monday, 24 March 2014

Post-holiday blues

I've been on holiday. Not a long holiday, just a week. It doesn't explain my absence, I know. 

My first thoughts this morning as I stepped into my cold, dark office, was that I didn't know what I was doing here. The feeling weighed down in my stomach like I'd swallowed some rocks. This isn't me right now. 'Me' is someone else - somewhere else - tasting life and doing things that are fascinating and, quite frankly, cool. Work does not make me feel alive and buzzing like my holiday in Sicily made me feel. Instead, I feel like I've hugged a block of ice gone numb. 

Sicily is hot sunshine, opposed to the cold rain in Cornwall. The food there leaves explosions of taste in your mouth, the streets are full of people and food markets, even the language is poetic and flamboyant. Here, the food is served soggy or part-cold, there's no attention to is 'fast food', and lacking in nutrition.  

I have the post-holiday blues. I know I do, but I've never missed a place as much as this. 

We went to Sicily for Mount Etna; or, rather, I went to Sicily to fulfil my life-long dream to go up a live volcano, S came for the holiday and the food. Why it took until my mid thirties to fulfil this dream, I don't know, but finally I did it...I have walked on a volcano and seen real, molten lava. 

When I was young, all I dreamt about was being a volcanologist and a writer. I read Geology at university but soon discovered that volcanology was not all adventure and excitement, there was physics involved. A lot of physics. Even my Physics A-Level could not prepare me for that, so I switched to palaeontology and dinosaurs. Interesting, and easier. I don't regret it. Life takes you down many different paths, usually for a reason. 

Going up Mount Etna was fascinating. Sicily was fascinating too. I've learnt so much out there, including the more laid-back attitude. I have a lot to think about now, ideas to follow up and perhaps new dreams to be made. In the mean time, I will just keep plodding on while I silently plot my next escape.