Monday, 19 November 2012

Life has taken a slightly different pace since moving to the lodge. It is peaceful here and I no longer feel that urgency to "achieve" something amazing with my life . I am beginning to feel content. Sometimes, though, there is that moment of anxiety when I feel that I am not the high achiever I think everyone wants me to be.

The 100days challenge has mostly fallen by the wayside. Moving house took the wind from my sails but not before I achieved some pretty big things. Now, however, it is difficult to pick up where I left off.

The darkness out here has not helped my running...the country lanes at night have so far intimidated me, even though I have bought the necessary equipment (head torch etc) to cope. My kung fu, however is progressing, which is not surprising as I can practice indoors. I am now yellow sash after last week's grading.

I know that I need to refocus and gather my energies again, perhaps filter through my goals and decide which ones are actually important. There is something else, too. I have found that life has led me straight into the path of someone special, and it is going very well indeed. In fact, so well that I am in a bit of a daze. I didn't think that I would let someone in again but S slipped past my barriers like they didn't exist. With any new relationship, a good one that you hope will last, you begin to wonder how your goals fit in with theirs and whether compromises may one day be required.

I think too much.

I love the lodge, though. It is what I need to escape a hectic world. The stars at night are superb, and the quiet is calming. I am making curtains to make the place more "me" and, little-by-little, I am turning it into a home. My first proper home.


  1. You live in the lodge. It all sounds very "To the Manor Born". Although the spiders make me doubt that it is quite like that...

    Congratulations on how things are going with S. Well done for letting your guard down and reaping the reward. I hope things continue to go really well for you both.

    And you've got your yellow belt. I hope your nine year old fighting buddies are managing to keep up with you.

    Enjoy your peaceful life. How marvellous!

  2. Somebody once told me that the highest achievement is contentment. As a former aspirant to the more conventional concepts of 'achievement', I'm growing, with each year that passes, to think that wiser advice.