I have decided to move. It was actually a rash decision at first (Sorry RR, I made a major life changing decision without you...!) but as I started to look for places, it felt right. Or, at least, it did. Yesterday, I was so sure of it that I said yes to a place.
I found somewhere which is ideal for me: a log cabin in the middle of nowhere. Furnished. With an acre garden. It is cheap too. I guess I got lucky but it concerns me that it seems too easy. Ok, so it is further from work than I would have liked (45 mins each way) but I can car share from not too far away. Oh. And there is no internet so I would have to rely on a dongle = no skype. However, I will be able to have guests over for dinner whenever I like, and the special one in my life can stay at weekends whenever she wants too. It will be a space of my own. Somewhere that I can call home, perhaps.
Maybe it is because of the time scale involved that is making me scared that I have made the wrong decision. (I went to give my notice only to discover that I only have to give two weeks in my current place. Two Weeks! ).
At least I don't have much to pack...! But: two weeks! It does not seem long enough to adjust to the decision. In short, I am highly stressed.
It does not help that I was going through loads of boxes that have been sealed since I left the unhappy house in St Agnes and have come across things that, quite frankly, I never want to see again. I haven't even recycled those things, I have thrown them in a bin bag ready to be dumped.
You can do pros and cons for hours but how do you really know that you have made the right decision? How do you know that staying put for that little bit longer would be wiser? What if a place close to work had come up instead?! This is why I have been here for so long: I hate committing to decisions that could end up me getting into a terrible mess. :-/ But the decision can only be partly undone: whatever happens between now and Sunday week, I will not be living in this place. That is a shock to the system.